


Interrupted

by Master of Unlocking (Hikarinimichitasora)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Bad Blood Spoilers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-05-24 16:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6159505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hikarinimichitasora/pseuds/Master%20of%20Unlocking
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus and Alec can't even talk without someone getting in the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interrupted

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the ficathon but it deviated too far from the initial prompt. Written after Bad Blood.

 

"So, you're getting married. Congratulations."

Alec had never heard someone say congratulations like a curse word before. He'd thought that Magnus had been playing with him, all that obvious flirting, but the way he seemed now...

"I wanted to be the one to tell you..." Alec said. "I'm sorry you found out before I had the chance."

Magnus shrugged. A careless gesture that rippled across his shoulders. Alec forced away the guilt that rose up. He hadn't meant to cause any harm.

"Your heart told you to protect your family. I can understand that. I might even respect it. But I can ask tell you that I'm most disappointed," Magnus replied. Alec tried not to notice the way that Magus' glitter lined eyes had narrowed, that there seemed to be more than just disappointment there.

"I'm sorry. Look, I shouldn't be here. I just came- I just wanted-"

"Sneaking out to visit me like some dirty secret?" Magnus' eyebrows quirked upwards. "Well, how dramatic."

Alec forced down the defensive anger that rose within him. It wasn't right for Magnus to be judgmental. If their positions had been reversed, surely Magnus would have done the same?

"I'm not sneaking around-"

"Oh, do us both a favour, pretty boy. Stop lying to yourself. And stop lying to me," Magus cut him off. His hand, rings and chains glinting on their elegant fingers, made a dismissive gesture as he turned away.

"Magnus-"

"No. I told you how I felt. Did you think I was playing a game?" The Warlock asked. Alec felt defeat hang around his shoulders. The honest answer was 'yes' but he doubted that would help much in this situation.

"It's so easy for you! You don't have-"

"Oh darling, you really don't understand me. Well, I guess it's for the best," Magnus replied. He walked to the window, looking out at Brooklyn's glittering lights. Alec clenched his fists.

"I didn't mean to hurt you," he said finally. Magnus turned, clearly about to respond, but then there was the sound of pounding on the door.

"Magnus! We need your help!" It was Clary's voice through the door. Alec glanced at it.

"You had better go. We wouldn't want your fellow Shadowhunters to suspect anything improper now would we?" Magnus asked and Alec felt every word like a punch to his gut. He did as he was told though, jumping out the window and onto the fire escape.

Damnit Magnus...

*

"What are you doing here?" Alec hissed. Magnus gave him a look that clearly said he thought Alec was an idiot.

"I was asked for a consult, obviously," he replied. "I know that you can get by mostly on your looks, Alexander, but really you should engage your brain sometimes before speaking."

Alec crossed his arms. Of course, Magnus was supposed to be in the Institute but that didn't explain why he was in his bedroom.

"Please, Magnus, you've got to leave. If Izzy sees you in here, you know what she'll think-"

"And would she be right, I wonder?" Magnus asked. He was sprawled out on the bed, one hand draped over his stomach, the other behind his head. Alec couldn't help but think it made a pretty picture, even as his heart thudded hard with anxiety.

"If Lydia finds you-"

"Then she'll merely think it another peculiarity of a High Warlock. Unless, of course, you told her something about me?" Magnus asked and suddenly Alec felt like those cat's eyes were staring straight through him to something more.

"I've told her about you. I've told her that you're High Warlock of Brooklyn, and that you're powerful. What more is there to tell?" Alec asked, trying to play off his indifference.

"How about how incredibly charming and attractive I am?" Magnus all but purred. Alec swallowed, his throat feeling constricted. Magnus propped himself up on his elbows.

"I-I... I wouldn't know," Alec cursed himself for stammering. He had to sound sure of his convictions. Magnus would jump on any uncertainty like a cat on a mouse.

"Of course you wouldn't. You're just immune to my wiles and charms," Magnus replied. He still remained upright, though now he raised a hand to Alec.

"But would it be so wrong to give in to them?" He asked. Alec took a step forward without even realising it before he planted his feet. No. No way was he going to be taken in by this... This... Warlock!

"Magnus, I can't- I won't - It's just not rig-"

"Alec are you in there? Who're you talking to?" Izzy's voice sounded down the hall, along with the sound of her heels on the tiles. Alec stared at Magnus helplessly, before the other sighed and, in a puff of mystical gas, spirited himself away to Lord knew where.

"Are you okay? I could swear I heard you talking to someone," Izzy said as she stepped into the room. Alec tried to shake Magnus' effect on him off.

"I'm fine just... Just thinking out loud," he said. Izzy nodded. She was less likely to interfere with his life these days, part of her own idea of living up to the Lightwood name. For once at least this helped him.

"Lydia wants you. Something about that cadaver Magnus consulted on," she said, turning on her heel. Alec sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

This was getting out of hand.

*

"I didn't think you'd actually show," Magnus said. Back in his lair, he held the upper hand, but Alec was far from ready to go down without a fight. Magnus had been incessantly annoying, blowing up his phone almost every hour. It had got to the point where Jace had told him to turn the damn thing off.

Alec had told them it was Lydia, though he thought that perhaps Izzy suspected that wasn't the case.

"I need you to stop," Alec said. "I thought if I asked in person you'd be more likely to comply."

"You snuck out to meet me to tell me how you need me to stop contacting you. I can see the logic there. But the question is: why? Why not just block my number if I am oh so annoying?" Magnus asked. He had a glass of something on the rocks in his hand and he gestured widely with it as he talked.

"I don't see why we can't be friends Magnus-"

"You want to be my friend? Even though you can't even admit to your own cronies that you're sneaking out to visit me? Pray tell, who would want a friend like that?" Magnus interjected. Alec ground his teeth. Was Magnus really this hung up on the wedding? Was he really so hurt that he couldn't even have a civil conversation?

"You always interrupt me. Is what I have to say really so unimportant to you?" Alec snapped. Magnus' eyes narrowed, catlike slits blown wide by the dark light of his apartment.

"When you stop lying to me, I'll stop interrupting you," he replied. Alec forced himself not to scream and started to pace instead. Magnus was impossible. There was no way to get through to him. No matter what Alec did, he was certain the other was going to find a problem with it.

"All this sneaking around... I wouldn't have to do it if you'd just stop hitting on me every chance you get!" Alec finally said. Magnus tilted his head to the side.

"Another lie. You don't want me to stop. You like it," he said. Alec stopped mid-stride. Magnus was still watching him with that same expression. Alec felt like he was being hunted.

"I don't-"

"Ding dong, you're wrong," Magnus said in a sing-song voice. "Try again."

"Magnus, I don't want you to-"

"Bzzt. Thanks for playing, but the correct answer is..." Magnus trailed off and looked at Alec with an expectant expression.

Alec felt his shoulders slump. Could Magnus tell a lie so easily? He swallowed, trying to sort out his emotions. He pushed down the frustration, pushed away the fear, pushed away the impending sense of doom he felt about fulfilling his duty to his family. He examined what was left.

A love for Jace. A love for Izzy. A newfound respect for Clary. A grudging acceptance of himself, hidden under denial and guilt and shame. And for Magnus...

"I don't know," he said. "I don't know if I like it."

"And the prize goes to Alexander Lightwood!" Magnus said, giving him a small round of applause. Alec resisted the urge to break something.

"Until you know, Alexander, why should I stop?" Magnus asked. He got to his feet now and was moving closer. Alec felt like his feet were rooted to the floor. "Why would anyone ever give up a chance with you?"

Magnus had stopped in front of him now. He was reaching out, touching his fingertips against his cheekbone. The caress was soft, warm almost-

"Magnus, are you here?"

Alec jerked away, feeling as though he'd been burned from the inside out. Luke walked in, all confidence and swagger. Alec didn't want to ask why he was here. Luke would hardly care anyhow.

"Oh, is it time already? I had completely forgotten," Magnus said. "Let me just show out my guest."

Alec nodded to Luke, who nodded back. Magnus escorted him to the door.

"Think about it," Magnus said when he got to the door, opening it. "Please."

*

He didn't know if he'd planned it this way, or Magnus had. It was getting harder and harder to tell. It was his third time sneaking out to see the other. He was supposed to spend the night with Lydia, ironing out details of their takeover of the Institute. But instead he was here, on the streets of Brooklyn and heading towards the apartment of a certain warlock.

"I thought I would meet you half way. After all, it is rather exciting to sneak around in the dark. Alas, if only I were getting something for my efforts," Magnus' voice came from behind Alec. He jumped, turning around.

Magnus was dressed in a well-tailored deep purple suit. His hair was done up as usual, his eyeliner sharp. But there was something disheveled about him, even if Alec couldn't tell what exactly.

"Should we go somewhere?" Alec suggested, looking around. Magnus shrugged.

"I think that alley looks like a good place.Very disease free. Perfect for quickies," he commented. Alec sighed. Magnus hadn't listened to a word he'd said the last time they'd met.

"Magnus, do you think if you're just acerbic enough I'm going to call off this wedding?" Alec asked. Magnus pulled an expression of mock-shock.

"Me? Acerbic? You've got me horribly wrong, Alexander," he replied, a hand on his chest in an 'oh my' gesture. Alec couldn't help but smile. If it weren't that he were at the other end of Magnus' sharp wit, it would have been far more amusing.

"So, why did you want to see me?" Magnus asked finally dropping his hand. He looked a little more lost now that he'd dropped the sarcasm.

"What? You wanted to see me," Alec pointed out. He held up his phone. "Your last message quite clearly stated-"

"I always want to see you, Alexander. Usually, you don't do me the honour of replying, however," Magnus pointed out. Alec swallowed. Ah, the crux of the matter.

"I wanted to talk to someone... Someone who... Might understand what it's like," he said softly. He expected a sarcastic comment, but all Magnus did was continue to stand there. Waiting. Listening. Alec tried not to feel guilty.

He was... Using Magnus. Denying him in one breath, telling him he needed him in another. It made him hate himself.

"I think... I'm gay," Alec said and it was the first time he'd ever said those words out loud. To anyone. He expected a comment from Magnus, but the other just took his shoulder wordlessly, drawing him into an embrace. Alec rested his head on the other's shoulder.

"I... I can't tell anyone. You know Shadowhunters aren't allowed to be... That," his courage failed him when he tried to say the word again. Magnus was rubbing soothing circles against the back of his neck.

"This marriage to Lydia... I have to do it. My family... Because of everything with Clary and Valentine, I have to protect them. I have to ensure that my family remains noble and well-thought of," he continued, closing his eyes. Magnus smelled of something woody, perhaps incense? Alec didn't care. It was relaxing. He breathed in more deeply.

"But every time I look at her, I know that I can't do it. I know that even if it's just for show, that one day I'll crack. One day I won't be able to hold it back and I'll-"

He stopped when Magnus' hand buried itself in his hair, stroking through the fibres gently, with a shushing noise.

"You are strong, Alexander Lightwood. My personal feelings aside. You must do what you feel is right. If your family is more important to you than yourself, then that's the way it is. But if you want, to be even a little selfish, then perhaps sneaking out to see me might be a way to alleviate certain... Pressures," Magnus said. Although there was a gentle innuendo in his words, it didn't feel like coercion. It felt like... Understanding.

"I... I'm not in love with you Magnus. You know that, don't you?" Alec asked, not raising his head of of fear of seeing the other's face. Magnus' hand stilled for a moment before it resumed.

"I would be surprised if you did. We barely know each other. I find you attractive, Alec. You could say I have a crush on you. Don't you have one on me?" He asked. Alec swallowed and drew back.

Magnus' eyes were intent, reflecting what little light there was on the street. Alec looked at him. Really looked. Looked with eyes that he usually reserved for Jace alone.

Magnus was the opposite of Jace in almost every way. His skin was tanned, his nose flatter. His eyes, though catlike, still retained their Asian shape. His hair was dark and thick. Was he still attractive?

Alec licked his lips. Yes. Magnus was an attractive man. He wasn't fair or especially muscular, but what he did have, he worked well with. Everything about him seemed carefully thought out. Perhaps because he was vain, but maybe because there was a natural grace to Magnus that oozed out of every pore.

"Alec?" Magnus prompted, a smile starting to pull on the corners of his mouth.

His phone rang. Magnus pulled an exasperated face but he took a few steps back. Alec answered it.

"Hello?"

"Any more interruptions? I would like to finish a conversation, just once," Magnus was muttering to himself.

"Alec? Who's with you?" Jace asked. Alec swallowed his panic.

"N-No one. I'm just in the street. What's wrong?" He asked. Jace luckily, believed him, filling him in on the details. Magnus had folded his arms petulantly.

"You need me there? I'll be there in... Fifteen minutes," Alec said, guessing that Magnus probably wouldn't be so magnanimous as to transport him.

"Fifteen minutes? Where are you? Wait, fifteen minutes? Are you in Brook-"

"What's that? Jace sorry, I can't hear you you're breaking up..." Alec cut him off. He hung up quickly after that.

"I have to go," Alec said, turning to Magnus apologetically. Magnus wouldn't look at him.

"If you give me an answer, I'll transport you straight to the Institute's boundaries," he offered. Alec smiled and, without thinking he grabbed Magnus' hand.

"You know I can't. Not right now," he said. Magnus looked at their linked fingers for a moment.

"It is answer enough," he said, his voice strangely soft. He waved his hand, the purple portal opening beside them.

"Whenever you need me, Alexander," he said. Alec nodded and stepped through the portal into the beyond.

*

"So, tomorrow is the big day, huh?" Magnus asked. Alec told himself that he didn't jump, it was just that Magnus was as quiet as a cat when he wanted to be. How Magnus was inside the Institute, Alec could only guess at, though he supposed that anyone could have theoretically let him in. He probably wasn't supposed to be here though.

Alec turned back to the window, staring down onto the street below and the people walking past, oblivious to the dangers all around them.

"Yes," Alec replied, stoically. Magnus nodded and put his hand on Alec's shoulder.

"You know, you don't have to do this. You can... Be yourself," he said softly. Alec put his hand over Magnus', stroking it absently with his thumb.

"There's nothing to be done about it. What is done is done," Alec replied. "If I back down now, my whole family will be even more shamed than ever."

"I promised myself after you confided in me, that I would not talk about my feelings anymore. That I would consider yours, as you consider your family's. It is harder than I thought," Magnus said. Alec felt his heart clench. That Magnus even felt a fraction of the pain he did made him feel sick.

"I respect you, Alexander Lightwood, and I understand why you're doing this," Magnus said, echoing his words from before. Alec waited for a 'but' except it did not come.

"Are you giving up on me, Magnus?" He asked. Magnus made a small noise in his throat.

"The night before a wedding seems a good time to admit that I have perhaps lost this one," Magnus replied. Alec couldn't fight down the surge of panic. Had he expected something else? Had he expected Magnus to pine for him? Did he really want two people to be made miserable by this marriage?

"Magnus, I..."

Magnus removed his hand from his shoulder. The absence of its warmth felt like an almost physical pain. Realisation began to set in. This would be his life from now on. Forever hurting himself and others in the desire to both do what was right and do what was selfish.

"Congratulations in advance, Alexander. I hope that you can find happiness someday," Magnus said. Alec turned to face him. He was sure that there was panic in his face. Magnus met his eyes unflinchingly.

Magnus knew. Magnus knew how conflicted he was. But the Warlock wasn't going to convince him to change his mind.

He's waiting for me to make my decision. He's waiting until I understand myself before he does anything.

"I don't deserve someone like you," Alec said finally. Magnus opened his mouth to speak, but this time it was Alec who interrupted him.

"No, let me finish. I don't deserve someone's affection, crush or love or whatever. I'm selfish and messed up and I can't work things out-" Alec took a gulping breath, aware he was perhaps sounding hysterical. Magnus' expression was full of pain and Alec found he couldn't continue.

"No one deserves love. It is not a right. It is something that other people give us and we choose to either accept it or deny it. I have chosen to feel something for you, to let you know of those feelings. You have chosen too, in your own way. I understand you more now," Magnus said and he turned to leave.

Alec grabbed his shoulder, pulling him back round forcefully and dragging him into his arms.

"Tell me not to do this," he whispered. Magnus was still in his embrace, face hidden in his shoulder. "Tell me not to marry her."

Silence for a long moment. Magnus' arms hesitantly wrapped around Alec's waist and he heard the other take a deep, shuddering breath.

"I can't," Magnus replied. His voice sounded weak. Alec had never heard him sound so small. It was wrong. Magnus was supposed to be loud and brash and larger than life.

To cause this much pain in someone else, in himself. To deny something when the seeds had only just been sewn. To rip it from the ground and to discard it. Alec gripped the fabric of Magnus' jacket tightly in his hands.

Damnit.

Damnit!

"Alec?"

It felt like the world had stopped. He looked up at the door. Magnus quickly stepped away, hiding his face, but the damage was probably already done. Lydia stood there, looking between them with a small frown on her face.

"Magnus Bane?" She said. Magnus cleared his throat.

"Lydia Branwell. Now we're all acquainted I had better take my leave," he said, a hint of the old Magnus back. He finally looked up and Alec was sure that his eyeliner was a little more smudged than it had been when he arrived.

"Congratulations on your union. I am sure you'll both be extremely happy together," he said. Alec clenched his hands into fists to stop himself reaching out to Magnus, to stop himself from grasping his hand and throwing his plan completely out of the window.

"I... Thank you," Lydia said gracefully. Magnus nodded and, with a final look at Alec, walked out through the door.

Lydia took a few steps forward. Her gait was usually confident, but suddenly she looked timid. Alec felt a squirming sensation in his gut. She knew.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," she said. Alec shook his head.

"It's fine... It was nothing that more time would have solved anyway," he said, though he wondered. He wondered if he had spent more time there, holding Magnus against him, if he would have eventually reconsidered. If he would have accepted himself, accepted his feelings, maybe even have accepted Magnus?

"I've heard rumours of Magnus. They say he likes men," Lydia said, and Alec appreciated that she was trying to be subtle. It wasn't her forte.

"Magnus is an interesting person," Alec replied. He guessed he would have to get used to lying to her, lying to everyone, and hiding his true feelings. "He just came to wish me well."

"So you do know each other well then?" Lydia pressed. She folded her arms in front of herself. Alec shrugged his shoulders.

"As well as Izzy or Jace? No," he said, dancing around answering the question. Lydia seemed frustrated with his lack of a straight answer.

"Is there something you're not telling me?" She asked. Alec swallowed, looking straight into her eyes.

"No," he lied. She stared at him for a long time before she looked away.

"Ok," she said, her arms dropping to her sides. Her face was far from convinced though. It wasn't that she had believed him, it was just that to her the benefits of allowing him to lie to her outweighed the alternative. Just as it benefited him most to lie.

"I'll... See you tomorrow I guess," she said. She didn't try and touch him, didn't kiss his cheek or do anything that would indicate they were going to be married the next day. She just turned on her heel and left.

"Congratulations to all of us," Alec muttered to himself as he watched Magnus leave the Institute through the window.


End file.
